Disaster! Ken’s Café is shut
as Carol and co are away on holiday — hopefully not on a trip to the Somerset
Levels. There are huge queues outside the Ercan chip shop and Nathan’s Pies,
but the Friends café by the Newham Bookshop proves to be a good find – and
produces an omelette and chips in ten minutes, eaten under a gazebo in the
Tardis-like garden.
Inside the stadium Michael
the Whovian has turned out after a sinus operation wrapped in scarves, felling
groggy and disoriented, which is frankly how most of us feel during a home
game. While Matt has ditched his Dukla Prague away kit for a 1960s replica home
shirt and Fraser has reprised his Dexys coat and cap.
The crowd is officially 35,153
but with a lot of empty seats, many fans apparently put off by the tube strike
that hasn’t now happened. Norwich pass the ball reasonably well and create the
better chances, while West Ham look jaded. Early on Redmond dances past Demel
and crosses for Hooper to head goalwards, only for Adrian to make a fine reaction save. The keeper produces another great save after 18 minutes as
Snodgrass races clear after a ball over the top. Adrian appears to hesitate but
manages to block the shot by staying big,
Jarvis finally has a tame
shot saved as West Ham rally a little. Only Noble is having a decent game in
midfield. Nigel arrives half an hour late clutching a baguette and tempting
providence by saying that victory could see us climb to tenth. Carlton Cole
turns and shoots into Ruddy’s arms and WHU at least muster a few attacks. But
there’s still time for Adrian to pull off a third fine stop from Tettey, diving
to turn away his shot from the edge of the area.
It’s too much for the Vicar’s
Son next to me: “Taylor is having a nightmare… how bad is Demel? Why can’t
Downing cross it properly? What is Collins doing?” The only good thing is that
we’ve kept a clean sheet for another half a match and the defence is still
blocking and showing signs of team spirit.
At half-time we predict the
final result. Some of the lads predict an away win but I opt for a 1-0 win with
a late goal, thinking that Norwich might rue those three missed chances.
West Ham start off the second
half slowly too, and Adrian has to produce another Superman-like save from Hooper.
Matt’s pledge to stay positive lasts 30 seconds. West Ham create a chance with
a quick free kick from the right, but Nolan tries to beat one man too many and
fails to get a shot in. The crowd are getting noisier under the lights, trying
to rouse the Hammers. Borriello is on for Cole but looks way off the pace,
jumping for headers when the ball in nowhere near.
Diame comes on for Jarvis after
61 minutes and Taylor is replaced by Nocerino after 77 minutes. Our chance to
win it comes when the previously anonymous Nolan finds Diame with a great lay
off in the box, only Mo shoots at Ruddy when a chip might have beaten him. That’s
better though.
Looks like we’re going to
have to respect the point. In the 84th minute just as I’m thinking
that Diame is not a winger and wondering why he is he playing on the left, Mo
cuts inside to send over an inviting cross. James Collins gets in front of
Ruddy to glance the ball home for his first goal of the season. “There’s only
one ginger Pele!” chants the joyous Bobby Moore Stand. Never in doubt – apart
from the four great saves from Adrian and the previous 84 minutes.
The ref adds four minutes,
and Noble sensibly takes the ball into the corner. Diame has made a difference
with his strength and running ability and as Norwich press he takes the ball
from his own half and runs into the Norwich box, before poking home a deflected
shot. Blimey – 28 points!
FEELING A BIT TENTH
 |
| Fraser, Matt and Michael respect the pint |
It’s more a mugging than a
victory, but when Man United were playing badly and winning last season
everyone said it was the sign of champions. You have to feel sorry for Norwich,
though also praise West Ham’s resilience.
We miss Jeremy Nicholas on
the PA at this point, Upton Park is not the same without him declaring: “We go
above Crystal Palace! We go above Stoke! We go above Aston Villa! We go above
Hull! We go above Swansea! We’re tenth!”
Michael must be worried about more nose bleeds. Four clean sheets in a row
for the first time since 1986, and three successive wins for the first time
since the Great Escape of 2007.
A surreal evening ends with
even more incredible happenings. There’s bottles of Old Speckled Hen in the
Central. Real ale in the Central? Our luck really is in. Nigel suggests that we should put Adrian in charge of flood defence as
he’s good at stemming the tide. There’s no doubt about it – we’re leaving our
charge for the Champions League late, but another three wins and a couple of
draws and we should survive.
TEAM RATINGS: Adrian 9, Demel 5, Collins 7, Tomkins 6,
McCartney 6, Downing 5, Nolan 5, Taylor 5 (Nocerino 5), Noble 6, Jarvis 6
(Diame 7), Cole 5 (Borriello 4).
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